Being a Christian sometimes can be hard. I say hard because you have to constantly strive to do the right thing in God's eyes. It's not that you want to do the wrong things but sometimes the flesh can and if you let it take over.
I won't bore you with the details of what I did, but there is something that happens when you realize that you've made a huge mistake that will put you on your knees faster than a heart attack and cry out to the Father for forgiveness.
I'd used to hear the older generation say, "If it wasn't for God's grace and mercy where would I be," and now I am starting to understand the importance of that meaning.
God's grace is everlasting and I am really glad to know that you can go to Him to bestow his grace and mercy upon your life. Sometimes when you think God is not listening, he really is. Sometimes when you make a mistake and it grieve you like so, guess what? You can go to the Jesus with a repentance heart and, if it is in his will, he can change the situation for you.
So, basically I am saying that in life you will make mistakes, poor choices, do the wrong thing, but when you go to God with all that you have and lay it out before Him, he can make everything better.
Trust God, strive to walk a righteous path, and when you make a boo-boo know that God loves you no matter what and his grace is sufficient for you.